Chapter 1: HOW TO SELF CARE *life changing*

This could change your life.

When I was younger, I used to rely a little bit on stuff to make me happy. Chasing the idea that there was something out there that could do that for me. 

I used to live in Beijing, China so safe to say I was never really happy with any of the stuff I purchased. It was alot of stuff. There would always be some kind of item that I assumed would be the one. 

 I always felt cool because I kept up with all the coolest bloggers and the coolest new shops and stores and Mac lipstick purchases, God, there were so many official Mac stores in China. I really thought this was a way of taking care of myself. Self care shall I say. I deserved it. 

Then one day, I felt into a depression. The start of many. There were days when I was literally immobilised by a feeling of pain. Everyday was not the same, a feeling of a dull ache for months at a time would disappear. Some days I was really high functioning so I would take on a really big project. If I had enough coffee or 'feel good' emotions I would kill it.

I did not know a real way to take care of myself. This would always send me back to bed , depressed. I was desperate to find things that would make me better. Even for a moment.
I knew that accessing peace was completely possible even I did not know how to do it.

Fast forward to right now, I have become a complete SELF CARE JUNKIE and feeling so much better about almost everything. 

My name is Shandie. I think it’s important that I introduce myself at this point. Let’s dig deeper.

Now the constant pursuit of things that are going to make you happy doesn’t actually work. You are human.  Unfortunately you are always going to go through hard times. However having a system or several systems in place to put yourself back in a position  where you feel in control, calm, and full of peace is a priority.

This is my definition of self care:

The action you take to *address* your own experience ( Physical, spiritual, emotional, and/ or mental)

Address is the key word here.

If you identify that you’re having a difficult time with something, address it. You need to ask yourself what is on the opposite end of this difficult situation. “What would bring me back to a full sense of peace?”

Exercising this muscle to be intuitive with yourself only brings you into alignment with who you actually are. This is exactly why I draw a really strong line between Self care and Self maintenance. Using self-maintenance practices like getting a manicure or going for a massage are a way of maintaining how you look and not a way to heal or address the way you feel necessarily. Although self maintenance can feel great

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